No G ... No G

The penultimate time I got drunk in India, I wondered, alone on the terrace of my house about the possibility of leading a programmed life...all over again !

Well, essentially, that is what I have been doing and probably you too ( or tried to) ! We read books, gave exams..we went to temples...we played cricket...we fell for the good looking women...we never explored..nor did we encourage others to do the same...we just did what all of us did..vicious cycle that !

And at each step this cycle evaluates us..so anything which was not 100% was not good enough, and if it was 100...it had to be the same the next time too..so lage raho ! Voices from within were always suppressed...and the outer voices just kept on.. " Aapka beta ka result aa gaya..itna cricket nahi khele dena chahiye tha " or..something like that :)

If 12*2 exams are not enough...next comes JEE, which if you are lucky...you gave twice. Well, to be honest..this is the most beautiful part of the program...a phase in life where the brain is used more than anything else...

And according to this particular program, you landed at IIT...which is just the beginning of another cycle. The idea here is to discuss...the keywords that frame life after this phase..without stating the obvious things of the rat race.

My take on a few of them...just like that...free to disagree..

CGPA: Its a number...thats it ! Though I never felt really bad at getting poor scores or grades(2/30...6.5/50...6.5/100 ) ..the litmus test for the "CGPA chutiyapa hai " theory came when I actually once did well. It was a no-high moment...a moment which convinced me not to waste more time in this number-badhayo contest. Well, there are people of course...for whom it is genuinely significant...probably they are above the rat race...but few people belong there. Well..may be professors should not waste much time on this and just say that this guy was "Good At IIT"...this was "Bad at IIT" and this one..this one.."Came in and got out of IIT" . As it is...calculating SGPA and CGPA is such a headache... :)

Money : Naah..this one is tricky...To start with..if you do not have money..you are screwed, which essentially implies that it is important. However, once you have it, its a case of swimming in a lake or pond or ocean...as long as you are not drowning....you are just a swimmer..aint you?

For me...there are two categories...as of now( subject to change) . You either have it...or you dont and either case has no correlation with your level of happiness or contentment.

Again..my take :)

Job: I am a little confused here..Probably, my feeling is that if you are looking at the day to end most of the time, you smile only after the evening and you use other organs more than you use your brain... you are in the wrong place, no matter how many million dollars your company is worth! I would rather go for anything that offers mystery, surprise, variety and of course money over the above...probably as a reaction towards the programmed life rather than logic..which doesn't really exist in this case..but the same holds for life... doesn't it !

The concept behind writing all this crap is simply to allay all doubts that..once in a while come to my mind " What if I had followed the program and was in Mumbai now ? "

Anyways, the idea is simple. At some time, when my body is not young any more....hopefully I look back at these days with a smile...and find meaning in the one of my favorite 4 letter lines...

"No Guts No Glory"

When Harry couldn't meet Saali..

I am baffled.Having wasted 23 years of my life, the vision of a worse future baffles me. There is something which I have been ignoring in my life big time(or is it the other way round). The only thought that keeps things going though is the company of a bunch of losers in the field of.....girls :)

It would be a lie to say I am not familiar with this species at all. The truth is that all these encounters are forgettable, which raises the question...why?

I am sure the word 'complicated' came into English language because of girls. I fail to understand why they twist logic in unimaginable and often uncomfortable ways.
Just a few observations...

# 1 : If she doesn't know you, chances are slim she will make an effort. If she does, she will have her judgment even before you open your mouth.

#2 : They say 'tall, dark and handsome' matters. However, not all short fair and ugly guys are single ! They say status matters...9 out of 10 IITians at KGP are single...ghanta ! They say 'gentlemen are a hit. Well, this word gentlemen is a false word in the first place. All gentlemen are good actors.

#3 : Something that drastically increases your chances though is possession of a bike, mobile, good job...or lets just say money. Romeo and Juliet would die of shame if they saw the modern-day couple. Nothing comes for free these days..certainly not love.

#4 :Assuming the impossible for a moment...she loves you...Be sure her mother will not. And fathers...they have been there...done that. Sadly, it boils down to a case of physical torture versus mental...often both.

There is a point behind all this crap written above:

" There are guys, some guys who simply cannot rise or fall in love. They are God's creation to make couples look blessed and special"

Anybody who proposes he is not interested in girls with statements like...
1. ladki wadki apne liye nahi hai yaar...
2. koshish karenge to mil hi jayegi par kaun itna kare...
...perhaps needs it the most.

Boss, this is nothing to be proud of : Accept it, we are miserable

If you are in love and reading this, you probably already have declared me an idiot and thus we have nothing to argue.

If you are in the Loser's club, I am sure then all this is nothing new to you. After all, being miserable and staying happy are different things and can co-exist.
Who knows this better than us :)

Finally, arranged marriage rocks !!!! ;)

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Dedicated to 'the' discussion with eminent members of loser's club: Akhi and Marli :)

Ctrl X

There is a way of life that is unique in KGP . Being a fourth year, I have found KGP to be a place where strange things just happen...which you may not find happening anywhere else...unsophisticated readers may identify this phenomenon with the word ' katna' ... for sophisticated ones...well tell me when you find the word :)

So, why do i say this...you will realise that soon...To know whether you are a part of this elite group or not, just check whether some of the listed things often happen with you or not...Well , if u you are close to me, you dont need to read...you qualify automatically.

1. Whenever you go out of IIT gate, you need to cross two important barriers....called Puri Gate Fataks (railway crossings)...In case you are gifted like me, you always manage to be reach the fatak as it is about to close...and you wait counting the millions of boggies of the maal gaadi till u reach the next one...only to realise tht you managed to do the same thing twice...within 20 minutes...

2. You have been told that your attendence has reached dangerous low-limits...so you decide to go to class...and given that you have a strong will power , you reach the class...but the prof will not take attendence today...and all you come back is a couple of drawings on ur notebook...the same holds with surprise tests...you will attend the classes before and after this class...but will manage to miss the one in which the test was taken...a crucial reason for those letters (like P,D even F) on your grade card !

3. Even though chances are rare, to the point of improbable...but in case you get a message on your cellphone from some girl who thought about you once in a year or so...some bastard will read the message before you...and given that he is a well-wisher, he will ensure that all other well-wishers know about this message...and in case they are nice to you, will take the trouble of replying to the message with their own experiences of romance...so that its game over even before it began !

4. In case your mid sem syllabus has two chapters x & y , and you have time only to read one...irresepective of which one you decide, the other one shall comprise enough questions so that you don't have to sit for more than 2 hours in a 3 hour exam....thts called judgement at its best....and only chosen few are blessed with it...

5. Its clear outside, you decide to go out...as soon as you step out of your hall...it rains...you think it will stop...and as you reach a point of no return...it starts pouring....but hey...once you reach your journey...it stops raining....as if to say...'laut ke dikha' !

There are so many more which happens everyday...like going to Tech Market only to find out its Monday...getting up exactly at the time when there is no water in the hall.... having to move from the last bench to first in the exam hall coz the invigilator saw your intentions in your eyes even before the exam began......

Had it not been for Shakespeare, the phrase ' Alls well that ends well ' would have belonged to a KGPian...because that is the principle on which we (especially ppl like me) survive...and at some point ....even you must have said "Yaar.... Kuch kat raha hai"

Aisa bhi hota hai...

Mid Sem no. 5 has just made a passing visit...Presently nothing in life is more predictable than a mid sem exam, irrespective of the paper, prof, person, exam room no, guy sitting infront...the sentiments are the same after each one of them...but I have just had a cnfirmation of a viewpoint I had at the back of my mind for some time now...and it takes origin from the JEE days...

The theory being put forward is : " There are two types of people who clear IIT-JEE...one who would do it anyways...no matter what the pattern of paper, day of exam...and all the variables are...the other type is the one that are in IIT due to one good day(the JEE day)...not that they are not talented n all that stuff...but they simply had a good day giving the exam...or else they were out!"

Now, there are a few reasons why I say this...the following observations should throw more light on this...lets say these people are of "TYPE I" and "TYPE II"...and see their reactions to some general situations encountered by IITians...

1. Result of JEE is declared::::

TYPE1 : arre yaar...I knew it...2 question me silly mistake kar diye...nahi to I would have got my favourite department(head on mom's shoulder)...why am I always so unlucky????

TYPE2: abe saala...maza aa gaya...ye to gazab ho gaya...ab to total masti hai life me..aur koi kuch bolega bhi nahi aaj se..mazaak hai kya..IITian ho gaye hai hum bhai...

2.After their first few days in IIT::::

TYPE1: ummm...I liked this prof's style of teaching..but this IIT does not live upto the standards yaar...I had dreamt of a better infrastructure to be honest and better style of caring for the best students of the country

TYPE2:aadha subject me to attendence hi nahi hota hai...aur kya chahiye...last me parh ke kaafi kuch kar denge...par itni kam larki hai yaha...kaise rahta hai sab yaha...galti kar diye yaha aake kya?


3.Result of mid sems are out::::

TYPE1: marks to theek aaya hai...but tht guy(say maggu) topped in all 4 subjects...kitna parhta hoga yaar ye...

TYPE2: end sem me accha karna hoga ab...kal se parhai shuru


4.Sem ends::::

TYPE1: Ab thora sa masti kar lete hai...

TYPE2:Ab thora padh lete hai...agle sem se

Without the slightest of doubt, I always knew which category I belonged to..just that I got enlightened about the other one after coming to this place.Well,even though this seems to be becoming an anti-TYPE1 blog, I must mention that I have a lot of respect for people who just n just study at KGP. Without getting into whats right n whats not, its perhaps the most difficult thing to do at this place particularly and something I am not good enough to do [ fortunately ;) ]

And hey..to end this nonsense on a light note, the typical conversation between TYPE1 n TYPE2 is something of this sort....

TYPE1:hmmm.... bahut mug raha hai...sahi hai...humko to padhne me man hi nahi lag raha hai...poora peace maar rahe hai...pata nahi @#$# kaise parhta hai itna...pata hai, kal test tha...kitaab touch..touch bhi nahi kiye...

TYPE2: kal test tha kya?

ye 'biasing' kya hota hai....

I think that the most interesting thing that students like me can possibly be involved in within the insti premises is 'viva'... Somehow I hav already had a variety of 'viva' experiences like most of us...one thing being common though, the look on theprof's face...However, there was a viva which we really screwed up, fortunately so, since till date whenever we come out after a viva, the reaction always is..." naa be...usse bura nahi hua hai.."

Period: 1st sem
Venue: EC lab
Characters: Pari, Chaubey,Chaiti(me), she (As far as Sn is concerned, leave it upto
them)

We were the 2nd grp to go, the 1st one was grilled for about an hour. Still, I was confident that given our preparation, it wont last for more than 10 minutes unless she was in a mood to destroy.Unfortunately, she was...

In the meantime...
Chaubey: abe biasing kya hota hai be...
Pari: arre saala...isko biasing bhi nahi pata hai...haha
me:tu bata de na fir..
Pari:abe wahi yaar...wo jo...nahi puchega be...itna asaan thori puchega...
me:haan ye to nahi hi puchega..peace maar...puchega to dekh lenge...
she(thinking): kaha se aaya hai ye log....

The Grp's name is called, we get seated...frm left to right like four defenders in a game of football...
she...chaubey...me....Pari

The game begins, first question..."your names?" ...We answered correctly, the only correct answer of the viva...

"Okay, Parived, So what do you understand by BIASING?"

Pari has a unique way of answering questions he has no idea about, just a look to the prof and the prof realises that he is wasting time....Chaubey was in no mood to surrender so he began but the pauses in between were unbearable after a minute...moreover, he had just as much idea as pari...or for that matter myself.I began with a smile and ended without it...but she had other plans." Sir, Sir...eeehh...biasing na...biasing is blah blah blah..." We knew we were in trouble, by this time though we were masters of falling into trouble without having any idea how to get out of it...

The next question began with her...she answered, I did not attempt, Chaubey stopped after his first line, Pari's look did the trick again...such minimum effort was really admirable and believe me, very funny even while we were being humiliated out there.

The viva continued this way, she answered anything that came her way, we couldn't even begin properly once...till the last n the big one came up. Meanwhile, she had answered a formula which we cudnt answer which was like: V* (R2/R1)
The Prof pushed back his chair and with a smile asked Pari " OK...V is 10, R2 is 2, R1 is 1...whats the answer???"

I turned my head 180 degrees and began laughing without any fear...coz this was humiliation at its peak and for us laughter is the most immediate response to such situations...Chaubey too did that but with his head down...Pari was intelligent enough to realise that 10*2/1 is not 20 here...kuch to gadbad hai...so he took a pause as if something extraordinary was to come out of his superhuman brain...

I realised that he was going into extra-time so I prompted with great confidence..."abe Pari...20 bol de, dekha jayega".

He replied" abe wahi to chah raha hai..ki 20 bol ke katwa le"

So he finally spoke" Sir, I need a pen and a paper"

Now, the situation went out of control, I could not stop showing my teeth even without the 180 degree turn, I am sure even the profs were having a laugh inside...but how can they show it...neways in came the pen and paper, and out of great curiousity, I peeped into look at the golden words being written by him...just as expected...10, 2 and 1...and finally 20 with a circle around it to show that the answer has been arrived at...

The prof asked" May I hav the answer please?"

Pari managed to answer with the lowest possible volume"Twenty"
On being asked to say it louder..."TWENTY"

The prof knew it was only a matter of time, his reaction of disappointment was pre-meditated, but all I wanted was the moment to freeze so that we could laugh our hearts out...well we did...

Without doubt, Madam was asked the same question, the answer as far as I cud gather was that the value could not be more that 12 so 10*2/1 was not as simple as it seemed.The Prof showed us the way, we were more than glad to leave and once we reached our places, we sat down and laughed till no more energy was left...

This memorable day was perhaps the beginning of a chain of events with a similar theme and outcome. I think this was perhaps the day that gave me a gut feel that the only way to tolerate this was to get used to it...coz amending it was( and still is) out of question...

Finally, there are no morals to be learnt from this kaand, its been a constant source of laughter for us ever since...there are plenty more..with more or less the same cast...and the cast is looking forward to more and more such moments...these are the only ways you can learn something useful from acads in kgp, who in the world cares about the definition of biasing otherwise...think about it!!

I quote...

Okay, so I finally got a topic for my first blog, no short stories, no comment on social issues ...a 'kaand' at kgp will be nice but still let me do what I hav learnt best at KGP...its got various names here...some call it 'chaapna', some prefer 'cheating'..though its old fashioned...I have been into quotations quite a lot recently, its amazing how one or two lines said by someone can be remembered forever...so my first blog would be an attempt to blatantly put down a few quotations I find worth 'chaapna'....

1.This one's too good and amazingly holds true now much more than ever...creativity is a highly overrated word according to me...

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"
Albert Einstein

2.The next one is on a highly philosophical subject...atheism.. let me reserve my opinion here, though its true that like every one else I too fold my hands in temples at statues...and dont ask myself "WHY?"

""I am an atheist, out and out. It took me a long time to say it. I've been an atheist for years and years, but somehow I felt it was intellectually unrespectable to say that one is an atheist, because it assumed knowledge that one didn't have. Somehow it was better to say one was a humanist or agnostic. I don't have the evidence to prove that God doesn't exist, but I so strongly suspect that he doesn't that I don't want to waste my time."

Issac Asimov

If you are still reading this, thank you for your patience, and now let me introduce you to my latest favourite...Woody Allen...most sites on quotations contain his words...and the guy as I later found out is a legend...just watch the movie Matchpoint n your opinion about luck could change...by the way...here's one from the movie for those who believe in the old one...'Success is 99.9% inspi...blah blah...

3. "The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net, and for a split second, it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck, it goes forward, and you win. Or maybe it doesn't, and you lose.

Watch the movie...

4. Another one of Woody Allen's classics...though it makes little sense...it makes nice reading...from his movie Annie Hall...dont watch it...its too boring!

"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable"

Well,if u feel I should stop blogging, I am sure I'll learn with experience...n here's what someone called Franklin Jones said about experience...

5."Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again"

Creativity, God, Luck, Experience...what say thou????